Growing Apart to be Together
A Powerful Two-Day Workshop in Gothenburg, Sweden, September 2-3, 2017
Led by Pat Love, Eva Berlander, Kathleen McFadden
The term “relationship” implies two separate people connected in a unique way. Whether the association is between a boss and a worker, two colleagues, friends, neighbors, family members, or lovers, both individuals have to show up in order to form a relationship. Showing up is the primary way two separate people come together; but what happens after you show up determines the nature of the relationship. If the two of you become one, is there still a relationship? If you have to be like me to be loved by me, then am I in a relationship with you or myself? In that case, is there a relationship at all? And when I say “I love you,” am I really saying “I love myself?”
On the other hand, can you only be yourself if you separate from me? Do you have to leave me to be who you truly are? Do we have to live isolated lives to be ourselves? Or can we come together as two distinct individuals and find ways to form a connection?
The most satisfying relationships are formed when both people respect individual differences while honoring their connection. This is a tall order because sometimes a man acts different than a woman; and sometimes a woman acts different than a man. Even more difficult, sometimes a woman acts different than another woman (like your mother). It takes a lot of maturity to honor difference while being in connection, but it’s well worth the effort. The key is to be creative about your connection and clear about your differences. This workshop will help you do both.