It’s easy to fall into a trap of believing that the desire for sex and intimacy always works the same for everyone. As a featured expert on Your Tango, Dr. Pat Love discusses why it’s so important to understand your own sexual style as well as your partner’s.

The problem is we all have different sexual needs and styles. Knowing yours —and your partner’s —can change your sex life and your relationship. Visit Your Tango to read the full article.

As differences emerge and sex becomes less satisfying we have to understand and adapt to those changes. Perhaps men are designed to have indiscriminate sex and women are more selective. Maybe men just want sex but women must have intimacy and connection.

Truth is, it’s not nearly that simple. And the differences in sexual styles are not strictly male vs. female. What makes one man desire sex can be vastly different than another man—and the same for women.

Your hormones, personal history, relationship status, sexual techniques, as well your personal habits can influence sexual style, satisfaction, and ultimately the course of your relationship. This is why having good information is so important.

Dr. Pat Love’s book Hot Monogamy is packed full of research and information to help you — whether single or coupled — be more savvy about sex and relationships.